Thesis thoughts

* Not knowing Latin, Ancient Greek or Old French is an effing huge academic road block. But hey, I know how to say 'I shit on god' in Spanish... so not all is lost. Argh.

* Where oh where will I find an English translation of Chretien's Philomena?

* Should I stop reading Ovid into everything?

* Forcing myself to get to uni at 8am rather than this whole 'I can study from home' thing better work.

* After google searching 'ravishment' (it's thesis related!) I have discovered there are a lot of messed up people on the interwebs.

* I miss Classics.

* In early 15th century France a cleric broke into a house intending to rape a woman; when she fought back he stabbed her. The cleric's punishment was to pay a fine of the same amount of money another man had been fined that year - for throwing a loaf a bread at another man's head. And no, the fine for bread throwing was not particuarly large. - I'm reading 'Ravishing Maidens' by Kathryn Gravdal.

* I love timelines.

***A non-thesis related thought: it sucks that there are no pubs within walking distance of my flat. I miss that about England.

Wake up kids, we've got the dreamers' disease

As I mentioned in my last post I was considering buying a double bed. At the moment I am sleeping on a fold out single bed. It sucks. So I had decided to buy a double bed and a new mattress, but then it struck me - that's quite a bit of money to spend on something that I can't just put in a suitcase and take overseas with me. I guess I'm not as ready to settle down in one place as I thought I was. Buying a bed means 'I am staying'...not necessarily forever, but for long enough to justify spending the money and lugging the stuff up the stairs. I'm really happy where I am living now; it's nice to be independent but this time have my parents close by. But....but...

I'm planning on doing a DipEd next year. So I'll definitely be here for another year after this one. Then where? South America? Back to Europe? Damn this constant unsettled feeling. I need to plan a holiday.

    Photo: Geoff Barrenger

Love was a promise made of smoke

Lately life has been a whirlwind of lunches, nights out, coffee dates, shopping sprees, and spazzy dancing; it has been fantastic and I have met some wonderful people. The socialising fun-tram can't go on forever though, I am starting to get worn out and feel as though I am slipping behind with honours. The fact that it's mid-year break doesn't really mean anything.  

I have had soul sprain the past couple of days; I believe it is because lately I have been having too much fun and fun can't last forever.

So now, even though realistically I have nothing to be upset about, I am all mopey-sad-faced and I want to stay in bed, eating cheese off the block, listening to Dashboard Confessional, and lamenting that I don't have a cat to cuddle. If you are unfamiliar with what soul sprain feels like, it's a bit like this:

   Photos:  Markus Jans, Peter Guenzel, Timothy Barnes

I housesat for my parents a couple of weekends ago and some of my fellow honours geeks came round to do immature things. I made the most delicious punch, if I do say so myself, with an entire bottle of white rum, champagne, fresh fruit and mint. We built a fort out of chairs and sheets in the lounge, sat in the fort and played articulate (a word game), and enjoyed tequila shots. Yes, we did plan in advance to act like carefree children under the influence of alcohol. I figure it may seem strange now, but imagine how much stranger it'd seem in 10 years time; I plan to get as much immaturity out of my twenties as possible. 

Our fort and my (potent) punch.

On Friday night I went to a costume party themed 'Fairytale and Fantasy'. My excellent friend 'Mountain Range' came over and we got ready together - I was the absinthe fairy and she was Cleopatra. We had a few glasses of wine before we left...then there was some Jack Daniels...and someone made me a White Russian....and my friend, the host, had mulled wine. There was a guy there taking photos. I have seen these photos on facebook. Times like these I wish I were a super hacker who could hack into fb and cut that silly drunk green fairy out of all the pictures.  

 So now that all that fun is over I have decided to man up. Starting... tomorrow I will force myself to spend four hours a day on my thesis. I would have started today but I have been super busy re-arranging my room, purchasing a new laptop, buying a ridiculous amount of groceries for one person, and will soon be snuggled up in bed watching the season final of Game of Thrones.

Also. By ordering a new laptop I have thrown away my plans to buy a double bed, sorry potential lovers. Ahem. Yeah. Okay.

She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts

I have decided what I need in my life is a nice healthy crush. No destructive infatuations or a cray cray lovefests. Just a crush. Something that makes everything seem slightly more exciting even though there's no marriage fantasy. Yes. A crush. So much easier said than done.

This is what happens when Taylor Swift somehow happens to keep sneaking into my itunes. Stop it, Taylor, stop it!

    Photo: Fergus Padel

You're the first thing, and the last thing, on my mind

I have three abandoned blogs. They each represent a different time in my life and I read back on them at different times for different reasons. There's the grammatically horrifying journal of my year volunteering in England, which I read when I am feeling old and in need of some naive ranting. There's the style blog I started in third year, when I suddenly found a passion for scarves and op shops, which I read to remind myself that I thought I was pretty awesome in third year. And then there's the blog I kept whilst living in Europe, which I read when I'm wondering why the hell I came back here. I think this blog will forever exist to remind and reprimand me for the time I wasted dithering about during my honours year.

If I stay at home to study I am distracted by sleep....my bookcase...facebook...making another cup of coffee..etc. If I go to uni to study I am distracted by the possibility that my friends are there also and that they want to have a quick coffee (which turn into hour-long discussions).

Even when I actually study I am distracted. All the possibilities of history distract me. My insecurities about my topic distracts me. Looking up academic articles in JSTOR, before I read the ones I have right in front of me, distracts me.

Having internet on my damn phone distracts me.

You know what. I am going to study. Right now. After I make myself a coffee. And have a shower. And tidy up my room bit....

This weekend my honours crew are coming over to party. We're going to make a fort, drink anything that can be found and play Articulate. I will try not to bite this time.

Photo: Anna Rosa Krau

Yeah, I can get mine, and you'll get yours.

Sometimes things that were once good stop being good. The more you try to make them good again the more you taint the memory of how good they once were. So it's probably better to cut your losses before what was once good becomes....not.

That's my groundbreaking thought of the day - maybe I should change uni departments, eh? Perhaps Philosophy is my true calling.


Good. Good. Good. Good. Bad. Stop.