Rather live out a lie than live wondering

Did I ever complain about Honours? Well, that was nothing compared to how I feel about the Diploma of Education. At least Honours was intellectually stimulating. Seriously, writing about sexual violence in 12th century Arthurian Literature was more useful than this course. Just let me teach, already!

I feel like I am holding my breath until November; at the very least, I'm barely holding onto my sanity.

I was feeling quite settled in Melbourne until I had to find photos for my Teaching Portfolio (load of wank). I spent a good hour looking through my photos from 2009 and 2010, laughing at memories of my European students. Perhaps I will return to Europe sooner than I had anticipated.

I want to add a picture to make this post prettier. But...no.

Melbourne Brunch Favourites Part #1

My two favourite brunch haunts of late. They're both restaurants which are generally a bit too pricey for a student, but the brunch menus are reasonable.

The European, Spring Street, CBD
Close to Parliament Station or take any tram up Collins or Bourke
I think weekday brunch ends at 11 or 12, but goes til 4 on weekends.
Favourite Meal: Turkish Eggs $18
The European is stylish, classy, and way out of my student budget for anything other than the breakfast menu. It's a popular lunch venue for business people of Collins Street... the Paris end, that is. I was once waiting for a friend and the waiter gave me the wine list to peruse, there was a bottle of French wine for something crazy like two grand. Me: " Tap water, please".

Manhattan, Toorak Village,

Catch the No. 8 Tram towards Toorak

I went to Manhattan for the first time a few weeks ago and have been back four times since. The waiters are lovely and the menu is great.

Favourite Meal: Flat Iron Eggs around $17

Give me a second, I need to get my story straight.

Today I met my lovely friend, 'Mountain Range', in the rainy CBD for a very book-themed day. We started off with lunch at Della Nonna at QV. They do delicious pizzas. My favourite pizza is the Al Capone, it has tomato, rosemary, smoked mozzarella, and potato. The waiter was also very cute and that never hurts... unless they're too aware of it and act as if they're doing you a favour by allowing you to gaze upon them while you order. Then it hurts.  While eating we updated each other on our ' love lives' and over-over-analysed everything. We pretty much just agreed I am confusing.

After lunch we had a quick look at the 'Love and Devotion' exhibition at the State Library. It seemed interesting, but there were too many people and I hadn't been able to let go of the over-analysing so I didn't take much in.

Then we skipped, and by skipped I mean huddled under my umbrella and carefully walked, down to Collins Steet to find a library I had read about. The library is in the Athenaeum building, which has been there since 1842, it is a lovely setting and a great place to escape the rain or kill some time in the city. It's also a great place to browse book shelves and internally over-analyse things, like a sucker. Sometimes I am such a girl.

It's so cold in my apartment. I'm drinking wine in bed to keep warm.

Lately I've been re-watching Dawson's Creek. I'm halfway through the second season. It has the strangest effect on me. Every time I watch the opening credits, and hear the theme song, I am hit by nostalgia. Okay, 'hit' doesn't describe it well enough, more like I am almost brought to tears by a sledgehammer smash of nostalgia. It instantly sends me back to when I was eleven years old and only recently arrived on the Gold Coast. Fuck, I was so innocent. Youthfully oblivious. So that's it, I want to cry at how oblivious I was and I also want to cry that I will never be able to be so naive again. Then I want to punch Dawson in the face because he is such a little bitch.

Take me to the docks, there's a ship without a name

I'm on holidays. I am bored and my feet are freezing. I'm dreaming of Spring days (minus the hayfever) and overseas adventures. Where does motivation go on its time off? On the bright side, I have finished all of my soul-destroying education assignments for the first semester. Who would have thought it would be so mentally painful to earn qualifications for a job I know I like? Ah well, I enjoyed my first four years of uni, I guess I shouldn't be academically greedy.

Whenever I look at the paintings of the Romantic artist Caspar David Friedrich I become totally lost in dreams of other times.

Pros and Cons of Teaching at an All Boys School

Pros
- There is no bitchiness
- You don't have to witness painful teenage flirting/giggling/slapping etc.
- Students are unlikely to notice, and comment upon, you wearing the same shoes/top/hairstyle three days in a row.

Cons
- Teenage boys are champions of the silent and violent farts (and then looking innocent).
- All the popular history subjects seem to be related to war/military history.
- ....I actually can't think of any more cons.

So I start the second part of my teaching placement tomorrow. I am terrified for four main reasons:

1. It's a private school which is something I have never experienced before.
2. It's all boys. ALL BOYS. Only boys. Lots of boys. Teenage boys everywhere. Scary!
3. I'll be teaching history for the first time. I haven't been in a High School history class for eight years and my uni course gave me about 2 hours of instruction on teaching history this semester - thanks shitty uni course.
4. The classes I'll be teaching will be mainly on modern history which I know close to nothing about.

You know what, I am actually quite excited about teaching content I have learnt the night before to classes of rowdy, wealthy(spoilt?), fifteen year old boys. Seriously. I'm not even being sarcastic.

So tomorrow I will put on my PABSTOY (Private All Boys School Teacher Outfit Yo) and I will walk in there and hide my terror like a boss. As one of my wise course tutors told me: fake it til you make it.

Photo: Tim Barnes

18 year old boy says...

* At work*

Him: My friend made out with a whale last night!

Me: WHALE? Is that some new acronym the youth are using these days or are you just telling me he kissed a fat girl?

Him: Yeah, a fat chick.

Me: .......

Him: So later I went up to him and was like  ' dude, I didn't know you liked sea creatures'. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha


Me:
ha ...harr...