You can be my alphabet and I will be your calculator

I can't think of a thesis topic. Bitch Bitch Bitch Moan. Just spent almost 30 minutes composing a 4-5 line email to my Honours supervisor. I was attemping to inform her, in a grammatically correct fashion, that her most recently acquired student has less focus than a first-year after a few tequila shots. Actually, tequila shots don't seem like such an awful idea....