You're the first thing, and the last thing, on my mind

I have three abandoned blogs. They each represent a different time in my life and I read back on them at different times for different reasons. There's the grammatically horrifying journal of my year volunteering in England, which I read when I am feeling old and in need of some naive ranting. There's the style blog I started in third year, when I suddenly found a passion for scarves and op shops, which I read to remind myself that I thought I was pretty awesome in third year. And then there's the blog I kept whilst living in Europe, which I read when I'm wondering why the hell I came back here. I think this blog will forever exist to remind and reprimand me for the time I wasted dithering about during my honours year.

If I stay at home to study I am distracted by sleep....my bookcase...facebook...making another cup of coffee..etc. If I go to uni to study I am distracted by the possibility that my friends are there also and that they want to have a quick coffee (which turn into hour-long discussions).

Even when I actually study I am distracted. All the possibilities of history distract me. My insecurities about my topic distracts me. Looking up academic articles in JSTOR, before I read the ones I have right in front of me, distracts me.

Having internet on my damn phone distracts me.

You know what. I am going to study. Right now. After I make myself a coffee. And have a shower. And tidy up my room bit....

This weekend my honours crew are coming over to party. We're going to make a fort, drink anything that can be found and play Articulate. I will try not to bite this time.

Photo: Anna Rosa Krau